Header image credits: funzug.com
That night we were celebrating New Year’s Eve at the dinner table, and you were telling us about your friend’s father who works in the show business. You were rattling on about in your usual bubbly way.
And then you said that sentence:
“He’s so interesting!”.
We meet once every three years on a good year, and still I have nothing to say. My goofy attempts to make my life look busy and positive don’t bring anything to the conversation.
You had the support of a positive family, which inflated you with self-esteem. I stagnated in a depressed atmosphere, which made me a underachiever. No one sat there to make sure I did my homework: mom and dad worked full-time, and had no clue anyway. Not that I needed it: I was clever and disciplined. Then came the time for decisions, and I never had a guide to help me take the right steps. My parents were uneducated and, socially, they lacked the right connections. They desperately wanted to help me, but they just didn’t have the tools. I had to make every personal choice by myself. And I probably did all wrong.
As you know I am a minion at a small firm. I spent most of my life studying, and teachers used to tell my mother I could do anything in life, but I had the misfortune to be born in a gerontocratic country where unemployment is hopeless, and to enter the job market at the dawn of a major financial crisis. More often than not, education doesn’t mean better employment here. I got my first job only thanks tot he fact that I pretended I was a college dropout. No wonder that I’m now stuck at a dead-end: rent needs to be paid, and in spite of my high-sounding degree there aren’t many alternatives out there. “Why don’t you move to a bigger place”, you could ask. I would, but I can’t, because of family ties. How do I relocate my elderly mother? I surely can’t dump her.
Regarding my job, I once told you how any sort of work becomes dull after a while because you realize that you drive to work every morning so that you’ll be able to buy gas so that you can drive to work another day. You said the solution was to just find another job where you get paid more and can then afford a wealthier lifestyle.
See, I wasn’t talking about money. I was talking about time.
This is all so disheartening. I made a resolution at the start of the year: be interesting. Do a lot of things, and I certainly don’t lack a plurality of passions. Become the object of conversation. Become that person that inspires and is admired by others. Become the opposite of my mother. Become a model to you.